Philosophy 101

Well, not much has happened recently in Ireland..just a lot of class and hanging out. I head to immigration this coming Monday and once I’m all registered with that, I’m able to go in and out of the country…can’t wait to explore more of Europe. Any suggestions?

For lack of post-worthy material, I thought I might write down some things that have gone through my head recently while I’ve been here. Last night I walked home from campus along the river at about 8:30pm. The sun had set, and it wasn’t too cold out…warm enough for just a pair of sweatpants and a long sleeve shirt. Not many people were out, and with my iPod in it just felt like it was me. So I walked out behind one of the shops on the river and sat on the stone ledge looking out on to Galway Bay - Just me and all the docked boats in the harbor. I’m sure half this stuff we’ve all heard at one time or another in our lives, but why not write it down and see where my stream of consciousness goes?

First and foremost, even just being here three weeks, you start to understand the people in your life that mean the most to you. Now I know that may sound weird, seeing as when you go away to college shouldn’t you realize all that stuff? But it’s something about being thousands of miles away from somebody that really makes you miss them. Knowing I can’t send out a text to say what’s up, knowing that phone calls cost extra money…only interaction you get is if you happen to cross paths on Facebook or something. The things I would do for dinner with the whole family, slice of Nirchi’s with Jaske, soccer tennis with Bru, SuperSmash with the roommates, a party with the 54^th girls, watch Jake’s football games…but at the same time, being here makes you appreciate those things just a little bit more, and I know I’ll enjoy them that much more when I get back to the states.

I’ve learned that in order to truly live your life, you’ve got to be vulnerable.  For anyone reading this that was a part of the Orientation at St. Joe’s last year you’ll probably get a laugh out of this next phrase but it’s so, so true. You really have to lean into discomfort to get the most out of life. We all have certain things about ourselves, our personalities, our appearance…or certain situations that simply make us uncomfortable.  We all just long to be connected…to each other, a team, ourselves…but it’s, I guess, the fear we have towards certain things that stop us from being connected. I’m not smart enough, good enough…and it’s weird to think that we all have these feelings about something…to not have this feeling, I’d think, would mean someone doesn’t even have the capacity to feel connected in the first place…but ANYWAYS. Vulnerability undermines all of that feeling…in order to get over those feelings of I’m not smart enough, not good enough, etc. is to lay out on the table everything that we see as an imperfection, or in other words I suppose, become vulnerable. I’ve also heard it before as having the courage to be imperfect…let go of the person you think you should be and just be the person you are.  We have to be willing to invest in something that might not work out, something that doesn’t have a guarantee. Very small example is signing up for the basketball team here at NUIG. I’m not the best at basketball, and personally don’t think I’m very good…but then back in highschool or modified basketball I can’t say I really ever shot, or tried hard…because there was no guarantee that the ball would go in, or the effort would pay off…I didn’t want to be vulnerable to failure and so I was never vulnerable to success. So here’s to hoping that putting myself out there and trying out for the team here may pay off haha.

But all these things we’re afraid of, we try and numb it out…fear, shame, rejection. But it’s impossible to just selectively numb these things. Instead we not only numb those things, but you numb happiness in the process. Furthermore we hate uncertainty and therefore try and make everything a certainty, or only get involved in something that has a certain outcome.  So I guess to wrap that all up I’ve learned to become vulnerable, put yourself out there, put everything you have into something despite the uncertain nature of everything we do and you’ll be happier. Dang that got real philosophical, real quick and I hope that makes sense when I go back and reread it hahaha.

Lastly, I thought about the feeling of regret. You hear a lot of people talk about living life with no regrets…and I suppose that’s a sound theory and all but is it really possible? And if it was, is that really how you want to live your life?  I’m extremely happy with the way my life has unfolded thus far, but I’d be lying if I said I didn’t have regret. And to me, regret’s not a bad thing. I actually welcome it. If it wasn’t for the regret I have of not getting involved very much in organizations during highschool, I don’t think my college experience would have been this rewarding. If I didn’t regret skipping out on my brother’s basketball games in years past, I don’t think I would be appreciating all the ones I enjoy going to today.  It’s that sense of missing out from years past that has propelled me to do all that I’m doing, have done, and will continue to do in college and beyond…and so I’m glad I’ve had regret in my life because it’s what has shaped me.

There’s my two cents for the month haha. Hope all’s well with everyone and look forward to seeing you all soon.

Luke